54% of divorced women will remarry within 5 years of their first divorce.
The likelihood of the second marriage ending in divorce or separation is 23% after 5 years and 39% after 10 years!
Is your life becoming the like the Brady Bunch?
Second marriages are not without their trials, tribulations and challenges to consider. Incorporating two families with children pose many issues to new family dynamics. The American Psychological Association has put together a few issues to consider when planning in order to ensure smooth transitions for every member of the family.
Planning for remarriage
“A marriage that brings with it children from a previous marriage presents many challenges. Such families should consider three key issues as they plan for remarriage:
- Financial and living arrangements
Adults should agree on where they will live and how they will share their money. Most often partners embarking on a second marriage report that moving into a new home, rather than one of the partner's prior residences, is advantageous because the new environment becomes "their home." Couples also should decide whether they want to keep their money separate or share it. Couples who have used the "one-pot" method generally reported higher family satisfaction than those who kept their money separate.
- Resolving feelings and concerns about the previous marriage
Remarriage may resurrect old, unresolved anger and hurts from the previous marriage, for adults and children. For example, hearing that her parent is getting remarried, a child is forced to give up hope that the custodial parents will reconcile. Or a woman may exacerbate a stormy relationship with her ex-husband, after learning of his plans to remarry, because she feels hurt or angry.
- Anticipating parenting changes and decisions
Couples should discuss the role the stepparent will play in raising their new spouse's children, as well as changes in household rules that may have to be made. Even if the couple lived together before marriage, the children are likely to respond to the stepparent differently after remarriage because the stepparent has now assumed an official parental role.”
Is your family becoming the Brady Bunch? What are your tips for transitioning your family to a cohesive dynamic? How are the children dealing with the new marriage?
Citations:
American Psychological Association. (2011). Making stepfamilies work. Retrieved from http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2011). Cohabitation, Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage in the United States. Retrieved from http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/
Image by Keith Park. (2011). License Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.0 Generic (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0. Retrieved from http://www.flickr.com/photos/diverkeith/2305006854
Image by flashbacks.com. (2011). License Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0). Retrieved from
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